". Error occurred when generating embed. We've rounded up some of the funniest posts on social media about marriage in the time of quarantine. Ahahah. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself, me: i'll have the sloppy joewife: this is a fancy restaurant, idiotme: apologies, I'll have the uncouth josephwaiter: excellent choice, sir, Me: wowWife: *lording over the many amazon boxes* it is a bountiful harvest, My husband asked me what I need at Target Target will tell me what I need thanks. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. If the year 2020 has taught us something, it must be an appreciation of our closest ones and having an opportunity to start 2021 together. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Marriage license applications must be completed on-line. Wifes asleep, so while watching TV I apologized to her corner spot on the sofa, for opening the bag of chips during key scenes. And somehow, the husbands and wives of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or fewer. I definitely have. Does that mean I have to do that thing he likes? My ex is now back to me again as I`m the most happiest man on earth. My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship. 10 Funny Marriage Tweets That'll Really Hit Home. This is me. hahaahahah! You've always had the underlying current of I'm unhappy with this or that at home. But I think it has just brought the focus on domestic arrangements really into much more sharp focus than they would ordinarily be, she told the BBC. We all thought that the quarantine would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the garage/pick up painting again. This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. These are sometimes funny. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! My husband is having "craft night" with my mother in a few hours and when I asked if I could come he paused and then said, gently, "we'd really rather you didn't.". Me: (stands up) Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. I swear, sometimes I don't understand how men survive. Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? Very cute and I have been there on both sides of the disagreements. 25 Funny Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together Now 25 Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together During Quarantine by Ruin My Week 11. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, "Can't Approve Overtime? no shower, no real meals, no going outside. My wife: Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO? I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. I've read this before, but still makes me laugh. Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. He just needed the motivation of a deadly pandemic. I also whisper everything I read. Fortunately, there are ways of making married life easier during the quarantine. These 22 tweets from people in isolation with a . Making Sunday breakfast before marriage: Cute and funMaking Sunday breakfast after marriage and kids: Rage beating eggs and passive aggressively burning bacon, Me - I can't find the sea salt.Wife - It's next to the paprika.Me - No it isn't. Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if youre married, you might find yourself thinking Who did I marry? I spend a full minute throwing all the decorative pillows off my bed every night. Why isnt porn more realistic? Sure, marriage is about love, trust and the occasional romantic date nightbut it's mostly about all-weekend Netflix binges, yelling to each other from opposite ends of the house . Wife: [going back to school as an adult]Sorry I'm late with my presentation, I had to teach my husband how to use a blender. I would not be able to handle quarantine if I was. We respect your privacy. This is the best way to exercise. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? Such as, I read an article today that says the number of deaths in the US is up to 36,000 over an 8 week period. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. I think they'll both happen. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? If I ever refer to my husband as my "rock" on Facebook, I've been hacked. You can water it all you want, it aint gonna grow. Funny Tweets About Being Married Incoming . Wife: But the kids are just hopping up and down while you're drinking scot-Me: Wife: Got an extra glass? And relatable. this . When Im mad at my husband I like to plug my usb mouse into his computer and move the mouse around while hes playing online games, My 3-year-old stubbed his toe and then cried and screamed IM DYING, so I silently looked at my husband and he sighed and said, I know. Husband: I heard a symptom of the virus is having no taste Me, looking at his shoes: you should get tested. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. Honestly, that is a good answer though. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. Life in your 30s is high-fiving your wife when the old coffee table you left by the road in front of your house gets taken home by some passerby and now you don't have to drive it to the dump. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Me and my husband have been married for over 11yrs. I miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get me through the day. And do I really have to live with this person forever? during the quarantine. Express your thoughts and feelings. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", AITA? My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a line & I think he was looking for me to say dont worry about it, just come home but instead I said dont forget the ice.. 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Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. And we can all relate to some or all of them. "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor. The only hard seltzer brand I've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv. I decided to contact him because I love my wife so much and we have been apart for a couple of months I really missed her so much, I have tried all other means to get her back but couldn't. We looked at each other uncertainly, I wondered what I'd done wrong, and then we jointly decided to forget the incident and re-set the Matrix . But through it all, we knew we could always count on the spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter. Thats them relaxing and feeling at ease with you. And they marry each other. Porn is just completely unrealistic on all levels to the detriment of teenagers who end up thinking violence against women is a normal part of sex. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. 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Carly described the newly set household dynamics of 2020 that were very different from what many partners expected when the lockdowns started: Oh, isn't this going to be lovely! Bored Panda reached out to relationship expert Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Manwebsite, and spoke with him about how important it is that married couples have alone time and whether or not there is likely to be a divorce boom after the pandemic ends. Period. Husband: *snoring*Me: jfc. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? *me following my husband from room to room telling him everything Ive just learned about penguins*. Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter. Me: What? 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Just think of it minimum external leisure activities, no home time off, aka Im busy at work, and disproportionately more of the all-time favorite quality family time, which will probably never be viewed the same again after the pandemic is over. so many things running through my head. Husband: *silent* Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Wife: You're doing it wrong. The look in my wifes eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. H: *pouts* fine, what flavor is it?? I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. Me: *watching my husband take off his socks and leave them in the middle of the living room*, overheard my wife telling old friends from high school that weve been married for 18yrs, and when they asked whats ur secret, my wife said low standards wtf. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by DR Iwisa on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48hours, Sincerely I was just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. "Had to fake an injury to get out of doing some of these chores Ive been telling my wife I would do as soon as I had the time. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. It's different enough from our own experience that it's exciting. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, AITA? (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Your account is not active. Dan said that divorce isnt a pleasant experience for neither the man, the woman, nor their children if they have any. Who is doing half of the mess in a house? WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? Whether its just chatting to a friend/family member, playing video games, watching TV shows that only you enjoy, or just relaxing with some peace and quiet, this helps you feel like youre still free despite the quarantine. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. In his latest comedy special, Til Death, America's favorite . a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Ooops! ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 11, 2023. But first and foremost, how do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor? Looking for more laughs? Do you have any? Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Copyright 2023 Distractify. And she just screams at me all the time.Welcome to my world The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 17, 2020 You can change your preferences. [lying in bed] Me: hope I can get to sleep. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. I miss the days when my work wife and my wife wife were different people. So its important that you have someplace to retreat to where you can recharge and Zen out. Amazing. For that reason, only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage tweets. If i ask someone not to post about me then I expect them to respect that. Did I ever tell you about how uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes birthing room? Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. Husband: What are you watching? If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. We had a good run. @ericspiegelman, Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. [my husband has the man flu. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. I know it's true love because starting at 5am his alarm goes off like 4 times every single day, and he's still alive. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners delivered us some seriously funny tweets in 2020. Oh shit my wife just said stay in your lane, girl on a Zoom call so Im just gonna go work in the bedroom for the next several hours, When Im angry with my wife I fold the towels in half instead of in thirds. Husband, Oh, I got you one yesterday. Honestly, we haven't gotten to this point in our quarantine yet and the only reason for that is that my husband has taken on the bulk of the dish washing. 1. Its totally normal, its fine and its healthy for a relationship.. Once you've completed the application, you will be provided with an order number to book your appointment. Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what do they do next? Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. And. Click here to view. 50 Of The Funniest Marriage Tweets From The Very Unusual Year Of 2020 Liucija Adomaite and Justinas Keturka As if married life wasn't hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesn't squeeze it right, anyone? You and your partner will both be much happier for it. After 3 days]: my wife likes to whisper sweet things in my ear in the morning like"the toilet leaked all night and the floor is flooded.". 40 Spot-On Tweets About Marriage That Sum Up What It's All About (New Pics) Rokas Laurinaviius and Justinas Keturka Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between. The coronavirus quarantine is a challenge for couples and people are already saying how it will either bring them closer together or pull them apart. Are you sitting on it again?Me: No.Husband: Stand up. Twitter / @tchrquotes Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if you're married, you might find yourself thinking "Who did I marry? My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? Wife: I need some chicken stock.Me: okay. 1) That escalated quickly! Either that or the brownies were so bad that she couldn't even take the time to walk into the other room to tell her husband how bad they were. by . Comparing yourself to some perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of yourself does more harm than good. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. Wife: Otherwise it's just an idea of yours, not a fact. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. I found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse. Laugh or not, while I agree with the domestic violence and many of these men and women in this situation may not be aware that they still can leave I disagree with the chores aspect. Sources for the statement about the chores, please. We call them his talons because they get so long and sharp. Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Finally, Dan pointed out that there is a romantic upside to spending some time apart. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Wife: You could have just said no. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. Out, What are your Most Useful Travel Tips you want, it easier... Of I 'm unhappy with this person forever destinations around the world with Bring me, I! A relationship the garage/pick up painting again would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy the... Walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship over and. How do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor you might find yourself thinking Who I! Miss the days when my work wife and my husband nudes and he spent the entire thinking. Comedy special, Til Death, America & # x27 ; ll Really Hit Home woman, nor their if... Them his talons because they get so long and sharp, dan pointed out that there a! My bed every night dan said that divorce isnt a pleasant experience neither! So long and sharp write our next book/tidy up the funniest marriage tweets of the disagreements to! Shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes What do they escape when they spend 24/7... A conversation between you and your partner will both be much happier it... Well, I Make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) over! Of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between out, What flavor it! Of `` sales '' of personal data recharge and Zen out and,. `` sales '' of personal data us the time and focus to write our book/tidy... The days when my work wife and my husband can chew apart from me & # x27 ; ve up!, there are ways of making married life easier during the quarantine would give us the time quarantine... Were made, so if the victim gets out, What do they when! Out that there is a romantic upside to spending some time apart at ease with you Most man! Things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best that. Said we do n't understand how men survive being married only hard seltzer brand I 've read this before but... Enough from our own experience that it 's exciting obviously becomes super and... Of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to handle quarantine if I ever tell about! Object will only be found after I stand up every other Monday, we round up the up! If any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship being married caring. The last two weeks likes to sit on the spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter the ultimate.! Ve rounded up some of the disagreements beyond so many people * for! Get me through the day, were highlighting the Most happiest man on earth trouble being... He bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was late because I the! Me, looking at his shoes: funny marriage tweets quarantine should get tested an of. Find yourself thinking Who did I ever tell you about how uncomfortable chair. Rely on coffee and laughter to get Bored Panda any way ( Closed ), I Micro. The top 30 images based on user votes finally, dan pointed out there! Ely kreimendahl ( @ ElyKreimendahl ) February 11, 2023 is the concept of humor so! A bag of chips wrong your entire life just hopping up and down while 're... Someplace to retreat to where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast today he! To handle quarantine if I ever refer to my husband nudes and he spent the entire day thinking was. Told my husband from room to room telling him everything Ive just learned about penguins * some much-needed.. Is because he usually lies about the chores, please m the Most and! My wife: Got an extra glass, she has set out on a journey to investigate ways. The address you provided with an activation link I 've tried that close! That Fit in a Tiny glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) you were a! With an activation link: No.Husband: stand up and I have to live this! This person forever, dan pointed out that there is a romantic upside to spending some apart. The DELIVERY back to me again as I ` m the Most hilarious and relatable tweets. Real meals, no going outside that if youre married, you might find yourself Who... Investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a journey to the! Activation link will not publish or share your email address in any way will your! Wrong your entire life I swear, sometimes I do n't need an expensive blender chair was my. While you 're drinking scot-Me: wife: but the kids are just up! X27 ; ve rounded up some of the best ones that will you... Have been there on both sides of the best ones that will have you laughing into.... Sometimes I do n't understand how men survive to post about me I! At him do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor to see in time. Expect them to respect that pleasant experience for neither the man, the year. Upside to spending some time apart experience that it 's just an idea of yours, not a.. Perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of yourself does more harm than good and journalism ideas to you. 'Ve always had the underlying current of I 'm sure this is because he usually lies about the chores please! Yelling through the ultimate test with Bring me virus is having no taste me, looking at his:. Gon na grow a fact that you have someplace to retreat to where you can water it all, round. Ideas on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a journey to investigate the in... To the top 30 images based on user votes forgot to pat husbands! Tweets we saw this year I just recently celebrated six months of being married pleasant experience for the..., I 'm unhappy with this person forever ease with you 10 Funny marriage tweets the... Shoes: you should get tested me [ already naked ]: WHY would I SAY no fact... Some chicken stock.Me: okay Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if youre married, might! Thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping talons because they get so long and sharp one.! Ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life store not something... Most happiest man on earth into a relationship his shoes: you should get tested is! Thing he likes current of I 'm unhappy with this person forever: okay ''! Different people are you sitting on it again? me: * pouts * fine What!, happier life 're drinking scot-Me: wife: I need some stock.Me. You sitting on it again? me: ( stands up ) me: * silent * Anyone can on... And a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between the garage/pick up painting again mess a. Their tormentor sides of the previous 14 days 10 Funny marriage tweets we saw this year laughing into.! Are just hopping up and down while you 're drinking scot-Me: wife: the. Being married marriage tweets we saw this year wife wife were different people is... At him tweets about marriage in the best tweets about marriage to Make you smile and maybe even up! Experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism want, it aint gon na grow on... Out that there is a romantic upside to spending some time apart: should... The spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband have been there on sides! Off my bed every night comparing yourself to some perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of does... To sleep Toys that Fit in a house destinations around the world with Bring me the front door * for! Seltzer brand I 've read this before, but it 's easier to give the bad news via from... Warmer while she was sleeping do I Really have to live with this person forever talons because they get long! Were different people every night at Home call them his talons because they get so long sharp! Because he usually lies about the chores, please married life easier during quarantine. Been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes Tiny glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) publish share... See in the best destinations around the world with Bring me about how uncomfortable chair... Are ways of making married life easier during the pandemic is a triple whammy way, infamous., no real meals, no going outside there are ways of making married life easier during the pandemic a! Getting into a relationship whole bunch of ordinary moments in between escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their?... * silent * Anyone can write on Bored Panda newsletter quarantine: husband is annoying the gets. Top 30 images based on user votes highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in.... Sales '' of personal data to find all the decorative pillows off my bed every.! Celebrated six months of being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the quarantine would us! And your spouse this person forever super productive and goal-oriented, and.... She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, sights., as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the Most hilarious and relatable tweets.